Not-So-Perfect Teeth
by Wyn G. Aarden
Summary: Someone needs to go to the dentist!


Title: Not-So-Perfect Teeth  
Author: Wyn G. Aarden  
Disclaimer: GW is not mine. Neither is Pokémon Puzzle League, Third Rock from the Sun or Bonanza.  
Warnings: Fluff, violence, obscure references, dentistry.  
Pairings: None  
  
  
  
Heero was experiencing something he didn't experience a lot of. Pain. Now, it wasn't coming from anywhere important, like his hands that was piloting his Gundam Wing. It wasn't coming from his well healed shoulder or long ago broken leg. For some reason, it was coming from his head.  
He pondered the problem, slicing a Leo while he was at it.  
Now, he didn't have a headache, something he got a lot of now a days. But Duo was safely tuned down to a dull roar so that couldn't be it. And it was distracting.  
Heero defeated his enemy and saw that the others were also finished. The took off to the shared hanger. Heero turned the comm up slightly to hear Duo ask:  
"Ne Wyn , it doesn't make sense that we're sharing a safehouse. We never do in the series."  
A disembodied female voice replied: "I know Duo, just go with it."  
"Hn," commented Heero. The miniscule movement that the multi-use noise made his jaw twinge uncomfortably.  
* * *  
The next morning, Heero's jaw hurt more than ever before. He could barely open his mouth to 'Hn' to Duo in the morning.  
Duo came out of the bathroom smelling minty fresh, much like Trowa, Quatre and Wufei before him.  
'Hn,' Heero thought to himself. In 'Strong, Silent Bishonen', Heero said hello and good morning to Trowa, who returned it. Quatre intercepted the message and added a 'What would you like for breakfast?' into Trowa's reply.  
Heero sent back that he wasn't hungry.  
Duo was sitting at the table, happily slurping down Froot Loops when out of the blue- as far as he knew- Quatre asked, "Why aren't you hungry Heero?"  
Heero didn't seem to say anything back, but Quatre said, "What's wrong?"  
Heero shrugged. Quatre gave him a semi-stern look and walked over to him. Heero tried to move but was held in place by Wufei and Trowa. Quatre put a cool hand on Heero's jaw. Quatre's hand found the source of the pain sending jolts of agony up into Heero's temples. But the Perfect Soldier doesn't cry out in pain. He just glares lasers. And did.  
Quatre ignored him. "You have a bad cavity. You'll have to get it fixed."  
Duo blinked over his cereal. "*You* have a cavity?! You, Mr. I-can-set-my-own-leg? Mr. Jumps-out-a-thirty-story-building-and-lives? Mr. Inconsiderate-jerk-who-stole-my-PARTS?!"  
"Duo, get over it," said Heero. This unfortunately made his jaw ache in whole new ways.  
"Hah, he does have vocal chords!" commented Duo, going back to his breakfast. "So, J didn't tell you to brush three times a day like a good little robot?"  
"Hn. Iie." *Ow!*  
"Duo, you aren't helping. Heero's in pain..." Quatre broke off and laughed for a full minute straight. He composed himself and continued.  
"He needs to go to the dentist. I have an appointment today anyway so I can just tell them it's for him." Quatre paused, looked off into space and said, "Never mind, they are calling anyway."  
The phone rang. It was the end theme to Bonanza.  
Quatre rolled his eyes and answered the phone.  
"Oh, hello. What about my appointment?"  
Duo choked. "How did he know that?"  
Trowa pointed to the space where Quatre had been looking. There was a light sign that proclaimed:  
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD  
In smaller lettering, 'receiving phone call from Dr. R Navaneelan's office, family dentistry' then a moment later 'Take a picture death-boy, it lasts longer.'  
Duo blinked, shook his head and sighed.  
"I refuse to understand you people." Quatre returned to the kitchen. He was greeted by Trowa and Wufei who saluted him- Third Rock style.  
"Oh stop," said Quatre. "Heero, apparently there is a free space after my appointment so we can go together."  
Heero's eyes widened. 'Unknown territory, multiple enemies, uncertain outcome... must self-destru-ow!'  
"Come on, it's first thing," said Quatre. Heero was dragged out of the house by Trowa and Wufei. Duo shrugged. His mouth widened to about a foot and dumped his breakfast in to his gaping maw and heaved an almighty swallow. His mouth shrunk back to normal and he followed the others out.  
* * *  
The G-Boys walked into the dentist's office.  
"Hello, my name is Quatre Winner and this is Heero Yuy. We have appointments." The secretary was non-plussed by the names she heard and replied half-mechanically, "Please have a seat and someone will see you in a moment."  
The boys sat. Or tried. There were only three free seats. Trowa levered Heero into the centre one while he and Quatre sat on either side.  
Duo sat on Heero.  
Wufei was forced to take one of the kiddie chairs near the N64. A little girl with blond hair looked a him.  
"You wanna play mister?"  
"Yes. I'm bored." Wufei felt four sets of eyes boring into him.  
He turned and glared at his 'friends'. "What?!"  
"Nothing!" was the innocent reply. Wufei turned and grumbled something impolite in Chinese.  
"Tha's not nice," said the little girl- in Chinese. Wufei merely smacked his forehead and picked up the controller.  
"What game is it?" he asked.  
"Pokemon Puzzle League. It's fun."  
"Yes, I play this game all the time at home..." Once again, those eyes...  
"Shut!"  
"This explains the *last* ring for the phone..." said Duo. He then proceeded to try and tickle Heero with the end of braid. Heero pinned Duo's arms and threatened to sit on his head.  
"Try it." Heero did...  
"Heero, he can't breath. Get off."  
Heero did. Duo glared at him and decided sitting on the floor was safer.  
In the meantime, Wufei was getting his butt kicked by the little girl.  
Wufei cringed as the game proclaimed her victorious.  
"I am shamed. You must kill me." He hung his head. The girl smacked him lightly on the head and kissed the spot.  
"Don't worry mister. You win some, you lose some."  
"I will remember that." He bowed politely to her and she bowed back. At that time, Quatre and Heero were called for their appointment. They stood and followed the hard-working dental hygenist.  
Heero was shown to a green reclining chair and he sat on it. A older man with a not-too-bad comb-over greeted Heero.  
"Hello, my name is William. I'll be cleaning your teeth and the doctor will come see you in a moment." The man smiled at him and Heero nodded back.  
William began asking Heero questions. Wufei and Duo, who had joined him, translated.  
William told Heero to open his mouth so he could put a piece in that would allow him to x-ray his mouth. Heero obligingly did so and waited under the lead vest. William also took an x-ray of the other side. He then began questioning Heero about his brushing habits.  
He was alarmed that Heero didn't *have* brushing habits.  
He began a long expository on the proper methods of brushing. All this while cleaning and scraping his teeth. After being scraped, brushed, rinsed and dried, it was time for the floride. It was foamy goop placed in two styrofoam molds that fit over his teeth. William went away to find the x-rays leaving Heero to stare into space.  
'Hn. Watermelon.' The space he happened to be staring at was occupied by a TV that was playing a show called Trigun, the star of which was a tall blond man with an admittedly sexy jawline.  
'Bet *he* never gets cavities,' thought Heero. William returned with the x-rays and removed the molds from Heero's mouth. He was rinsed and was smelling watermelony-fresh when the dentist arrived. She inspected his teeth and his x-rays and stated that he needed the cavity filled immediately. Heero agreed and had the cavity filled  
An hour later, Heero and the others left the office, each with a new toothbrush and a container of nice mint floss.  
* * *  
Several days later the phone, uh, rang...  
"Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring! Phone call! Phone call!" Quatre went to pick it up. The secretary on the other end heard laughing and 'Change it *back* Wufei!' then heard a more calm "Yes?"  
"I'm calling to confirm appointments for your next cleaning. In six months or nine months?"  
Quatre blinked. 'Are we gonna live that long?' "Six."  
"Excellent. They will be around the end of January. Good bye."  
"Bye." Quatre hung up. He had an odd look on his face when he returned to the others.  
"What?"  
"I was just asked to plan something for the distant future. And I don't know if I'll be alive for it." Quatre sat.  
"Aw, be positive! We can look forward to long years of going to get our teeth scraped. Right Heero?"  
"Hnggg."  
  
The End 


End file.
